My jealousy is fiercer than your lust

I promise

jealousy, part iii

my jealousy is
fiercer than your lust—
i promise

every day my eyes
cause me to sin
but i will not pluck them out

why should i?
when instead i can 
feast on your happiness

fuel the bitterness and ache
with pictures of all the things
you have which i do not

cover them up! 
you’re causing 
me to stumble

me, with such a bright future
me, who ought to have it all but only has
leftover bits of things, tiny crumbs

that fall from your table

i want, i want, i want
and all i have

is the sky, this great blue covering
arched and changing day by day
the birds flinging themselves through it

as if it were all there were—
that vast emptiness filled
that great loneliness embraced

all that i ever wanted
was to know myself known
and that has been within my grasp all along

all along, so long as i
let go my grasping
so long as i let go

i don't need to pluck out my eyes after all
just open them to the reckless generosity
of beauty, and then

close them and leap forth—
winged or wingless, it doesn't matter
trusting fully in the sky to hold me

From my poetry collection, Open Things, which is currently only $3.50 on Kindle! And the $12.50 paperback version also makes a great gift.

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